Renewal

Wow, it's been almost three months since I've posted on this blog.

Two very good things have been keeping me busy since my last post: my lovely dog, Juno, and a new job. To make a long story short, the guy whose company did my law firm website needed a writer, and he happened to notice my LinkedIn profile mentioning that I'm writing instead of lawyering now. He asked if I would like to write and edit copy for his clients and I said that I would, and it keeps me busy most days, in between jaunts to the neighborhood pond to chase geese. Sometimes I even take Juno along.

I love my job. My boss and my clients are generally very pleased with my writing, which gives me an ego boost. It's also nice to be able to contribute to the household purse by doing something that I love, something that also gives me the flexibility to take my kids to the amusement park, or myself to the doctor.

I've been so busy, mostly with work, that I never wrote about my visit to see Dr. M. in March. Leading up to the visit, I was too nervous to write. I was convinced that the tumor in my eye had not shrunk, and that the next step was going to be the removal of the eye. After the visit, during which the doctor said the tumor "showed significant regression," and that "he couldn't be more pleased," I was so relieved that the impulse to write evaporated. And then I buried my nose in work, which felt so wonderful and normal and un-cancery. I love that feeling. If you yourself don't have cancer, take a moment to revel in the sheer un-canceriness of it all. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Okay. But now it's time to go back to Dr. S., the general oncologist again. It's time, on Monday, for my semi-annual CT scan, which hopefully will indicate no evidence that the cancer has spread. I tend to review such a report in the light of a six-month renewal on the lease of this body. That's what I'm hoping for: renewal, doled out in six month doses, ideally for decades. The alternative is the equivalent of an eviction notice, because the place is being torn down. Condemned, if you will.

Renewal = good. Condemnation = bad. I realize that, spiritually speaking, there's another way to look at this all, but for now I'm rooting for a renewal of, as Anne Lamott calls it, this old flesh suit. I'll let you know how it goes.